Rajasthan Vol 2 : Blues Cafe

2:20 PM Blues Café Jaisalmer

Blues cafe happens to you when you lose the tour guide.

Blues Café in a blind alley

I forgot how I came here

And how I took this seat

And why is the guy opposite staring at me the way he does

But it feels nice

I see colors in the distance

And ambient music

Misdirected sounds in the air

A rip roaring festivity in the streets

A chuckle of the couple of couples around

A burning roof of stone

Blues yellows and pinks fly

Someone orders “Just Lemon Juice”

Almost sounds like a perfect drink to me

Rajasthan Vol 1 : Buses that sell dreams

Any trip to Rajasthan has to have few essentials- dust, turbans, street chai and devotional ring tones, in no particular order. And my trip was no different. Over a period of 5 days, I travelled to from Jaipur-Jodhpur-Jaisalmer-Jodhpur-Jaipur, and it was full of surprises and upsets, both very memorable, much like the ring tones.

8 am 2^nd Oct Bombay Motors, Somewhere outside Jodhpur

Phew. Waiting at makeshift boarding points at the wrong end of midnight. Boozed out hopefuls for company, dusty hostility of the road playing mildly offensive passenger on a night that never ends. Turbans popping out 2:30 at night. Schoolboys stepping in with a meeky face and nonchalance that could chew and not spit the bus out. Rattling bus, rattling windows, out of nowhere a religious rock star belting out prophecies to inanimate living objects, something about the presence of Mahakaali indicating that there must somewhere be a Mahakaal?

Jodhpur- all dust and yellow, the lonely planet-friendly aasmaani color nowhere to be seen. People at the mercy of buses or buses at the mercy of people. Snores all the way in the blue neon light, and out in the faint proximity of the skeletal bus, a feedback box of all the things. And a list of things the driver should not do. The apparent irony seems to have the better of me.

As I familiarize myself with this strangely comforting yet painful(on my body) posture and begin to nod off, one business class traveler halts the bus in the middle of nowhere for a package from a confidante. Sure, I am not the only one who is having a sleepless night here. He collects the package, and returns to his rear seat, cursing all along the way and kicking all sorts of packages lying wrapped in white village clothes, there could be bodies inside or there could be a late monsoon’s harvest.

The big orange semi-dream of the private bus takes forever to depart. Guns next to me, smiles and utters some alien compliments. I take them for what they are worth and return the smile with a warm gesture, all I can muster after the night on road.

One disproportionate lady’s need for seat overweighs the need of an easy on trigger semper fi and a city slicker . 3 people die each time you hear the bus make that sound, there is a black hole at the rear end , mahakaal mahakaal… 

He swaps the seat with me and gives me the window, probably after looking at all the things I am carrying. The bus seems to have a monster of a heart, accepting villages upon villages in its already crammed passage. Suddenly the excess baggage slips on to the seats, like an unsaid rule. And me and Guns get a middle aged local woman, with ornaments equal to her body mass. Now I have Guns, ornaments, my camera, and Anthony Bourdain pulp novel, and a travel journal on one humble seat. I look out of the window, and there is wind like no other wind ever. Ornaments assures us it will be a small inconvenience, and I can’t quite make out what she refers to as part of that- is it her constant calls to her relatives back home (which is somewhere between Jodhpur and Jaisalmer I am guessing), or life in general. May be she is aware of an apocalyptic event that we are not. Nonetheless, I wait eagerly for either to happen, as anything would be better than a working military rifle rattling next to me.

Her fated village never seems to arrive. She leaves the seat to us in what turned out to be a momentary burst of ecstatic relief, as she comes back in seconds shrugging her bejeweled shoulders, its gonna be a little longer!

To look at the metaphysical, for all the pain she has caused us, I am sure she makes a mean curry back home…

Each time the bus pulls the brakes, a village dies somewhere. May be there are sacrifices being made, bodies being offered. Who knows what exists beyond this mass of human bodies, all in good colored clothes and a million pieces of silver jewelry.

We stop at villages, and the multi-tiered passengers buy water, and I almost feel like a watcher, water bottles and money being thrown in front of me, bottles go up, money comes flying down. Sometimes if the buyer is not happy, the reverse happens. I almost forget that I haven’t eaten anything all night.

But the wind makes me forget it all. It is true, when you travel to Jaisalmer, you inherit much more than the wind. 

Late afternoon early evening

Back in the city 

Hanging lights, laughter in the air

A cold dark stout for company, 

Overcast skies outside, a strange cold comfort of a bar stool.

Maybe I will get a chocolate brownie and coffee in the evening,

Which will be in few hours from now.

Thinking about nothing while looking serious,

The self-sufficient DJ shakes next to me, drinking the same stout.

Waiting for my hot dog while an invisible Elvis rocks in front of me,

Dusty lights limited brews  

It would make a colourful yet sombre picture 

Groove’s in the air people clicking each other and themselves.

Looking at themselves through each other,

A city that has money in its pocket and on the streets.

Jailhouse rock indeed.

No bad moon rising this,

You say goodbye and I say Hello.

Kuch ajab khel...

Drift away
This is a promise
Of generations

Kuch ajab khel kartar ke
Mor-e-saieen ghareeb banwaaj ke

From the streets we sat across
And the cafes we skipped




Aik ko deen-o-mulk tha janay

Aik bheekari anaaj ke

There is this little Parisian desire...
To sit amidst
Folded hands
And reserved words and looks


Aik ko deen-o-hath main kaasa

Aik pehnaway taaj re

Your promise felt a little easier
When you were around

It came easier.

Milke bhi na milna
Kuch ajab khail kartaar ke





Dard ka silna
More saaieen ghareeb-banwaj ke

Saari raat jo guzaari teri fikar wich
Dil na thaama sahil koi
O te phirta Raanjha koi
O di ajab firaak hoi




Tere naam di umar
Mere sawaalon mein phansi
Tere yaar di fiqar
Mere jawaabon ko chubhi

Through the harsh clouds
And the salty rains
I see your face
And it all makes sense




Aaj latha naeeo
Ankhiyaan da chaar
Tu thodi der hor theher jaa

Say it again
And say it without the wink.




Tu thodi der hor theher jaa

Hold the world at ransom

Tera takna e ankhiyaan ne raar
Tu thodi der hor theher jaa

It is where we started
It is where we stand now

Time moments seconds hours weeks
Gasps of breath
Hollows of nights

Raat na aaye lange maahiya
Paavein mukh jaavaan main
Naave tere laaeeyaan
Ik ik saavaan main

Dhola ik vaari meri man jaa
Tu thodi der hor theher jaa

Jal mein kahin

So jaane do

Ruk jaane do

Leheron mein kahin

Doob jaane do

An innocent heart full of images

Mujh se kahe

Ek Jalpari

Doob jaane do

Jal mein kahin

She looks at the open skies

And it all looks possible

Waves come crashing

And it is a perfect world

A world at chaos

A world at peace

A world at love

A world at war

Shadows chase the sun

The sun takes a break

More piya

O piya

Kehta jiya

My soul is out there somewhere

Jal mein kahin

Tu hai kahaan

Main hoon yahaan

Jal mein kahin

There is that little worry

Of how it all always comes true

And there is that little look in your eyes

The one that took us this far

Piya gham diya

Gham mein ek sukoon

Delight in pain

Pain in delight

Ages later we would see

Jal mein kahin

The spark that stayed

Over the horizon

And slowly it took turns

And the spark turned wide

Across the waves

Piya re piya re

A blithe spirit

An innocent charm

Paavein jaan jaan maine tere te maan

Kar lai pehchaan

Do zind de jaan

Paavein jaan jaan maine tere te maan

Kar lai pehchaan

Tu hi zind te jaan

Dil majboor

Mera ki kusoor

Jaane huzoor mere huzoor

Sehni ni judaai

Meri au kamaai

Jaane khudaai

Ankh tere na laai

Tu mera dil

Tu meri jaan

Jaane jaan

Meherbaan

Saamne tu baitha rave

Har vele main taqdi revaan

For your eyes

And that spark

That entered a life

And a life

That entered the spark

O re piya

Kehta jiya

Tu hai kahaan

Main hoon yahaan

Jal mein kahin…

The Red Bus & The Missing Ticket

If you want to do it, then we can arrange some stars
There might be a shortage of dreaminess...




But we will make up for the clumsy resistance between your worries and mine.



And sometimes it was the angry mystique traveler
And sometimes his lack of aggression



But I was thinking yet not thinking as yet thinking yet to come



Not to say it had me miss the spot once again



There came these two
Bearded with glorious time, and smoked in gentle pause
And they handed over the anonymous child.
It had a name.

ode to the wind

Too much silver at the glass outside

And a little leaf skipping its step

Over the brick tarmac

Sound of rapids

Heard where they are not.

night of lost dreams

Do you remember that night,
I know I am not supposed to reignite sad memories,
but do you remember the night...
you dragged me to the casino,
I was on a losing streak,
and thought you will rub some luck on me...


By the time morning came,
I owed you a fortune.

You kept talking about your dead boyfriend.




Most of her affairs ended badly,
but she didn't mind sad endings,
as long as she remained the leading lady.



He was headed for a drowsy future,
towards the unfathomable night.




12 August 30 August 17 October 12 February

I kept looking through that hole, into your world...

10 hrs later

I saw you moving through your past...

100 hrs later

From your evident now..

1000 hrs later

Into a future you would never have.



19 March

Tell me more...

I won't be going,
so I will have to imagine it.

The only thing left for me was to give up.



7 Months later

I could be a part of a happy ending,
but I let it slip away.

100 hrs later

We are drinking pals.
Of course you will miss me.

A while ago...

That was the time when my life lost most of its meaning.

controlled bedspins

How has the cycle of events turned out?
Did it all go fine…
Hope it did…
There was a thought, and there was an imagination, at work
Obviously they would have made some sense somewhere
Something would have felt right to the one who read the signs on the walls
They would not go waste
Well we hope they don’t.
The days we have had at our backs
The times you haven’t been around
And the times I haven’t
Wouldn’t imagine them to go together
We were talking about two different roads
Never mind the familiar signs
They are just another roadblock
They muddle more than they could help

It was the other day
The one that just looked like it would pass in a blink
But actually stayed a little longer
I knew it was no other day



Over that bridge may be the breeze blew a little harsh
It was the one to savour
It was the one to hear
And be friends with
Not often they get intimate like that
With the passing seasons
That grow with the passing winds
And smile at the firm look on my face

We were just singing
About the tree that would never die

The wind took a beating
It was a test of times



Waters felt warmer this one moment
And it went farther than it would, on any other day


Take a wild guess
Make my day
It was with me all the while
You must have seen the effect
It existed in expanses
Of loud hues
And sullen words
Which came few and far between

Falling Slowly

Chapter One
It was coming
I had counted the arrival
I had clocked the morning


Step upon step
Note upon note
Original air
New colors
Rising moods
Chilling thoughts
And it oh so always is a shame
Hanging low
Dizzying at second rate slips
Oh it is so always slow
And cruel
And ruthless
And demanding
Measures the weight
And looks at the wall
I would look at these shades
Only when time will tell yellow from grey
Lost from found
It never comes cheap
It oh so always is a bloody toll
An assault on the virgin thought,
And the innocent flight of passion
And oh so always it knows no conditions
And it is oh so joyous
And divine, at once.
It takes a little more,
To call it a day
For passages of mornings like this
For nights buried away.




Chapter Two
So they told me it’s not real
And a little flimsy on the outset





Chapter Three
Like I have bought all the other stories




Chapter Four
There lies hope
In the ways of the yore
In the delights of verse

Chapter Five
There lies hope
In the little flaw of cosmos
And may be the little things down below will ogre a more favourable episode
Because this was like I had imagined
In any of my dark imaginings
Trapped

Chapter Six
There lies hope
It has not left my vision
Still playing a morose game
Still beating an overheard beat



Chapter Seven
What an irony!
It takes a little flicker
To miss the light
And it never forgives


Chapter Eight
And yet
When memory disappoints
I still carry the smile
In my mind

Chapter Nine
And yet
When all the fog muddies the affairs
And pushes the curtains
There comes a lazy stroll
The kind that would take us to the shore

Chapter Ten
And we are still here
And we got a reason to go on



Prologue
And a new reason begins to make sense
Now I know it will happen
It is almost in front of me
For all the reasons you would blink
And you would not
Please don’t.
‘cus if you would(!)
That wouldn’t be too friendly a gesture
For the likes of those who believed
The ones who followed the trace of faith
For once promises looked like they could be kept.

At least where the families would dine together
And would laugh between all the bland mannerisms.